I wanna go home.

It's a new beginning.

So, im studying in the UK now. uni has started for a month now, and I was just studying my financial accounting just now. Then it hit me, this is what my life is going to be like for the next 3 years.

It's so difficult to be away from home. It's so hard. Time and time again, i catch myself wondering why the fuck im doing here, i guess all i could come up was to get a good degree, go back to malaysia and earn good money. How i wished malaysia's education system was better.

I regret many things in life, even though people tell me that i should never regret anything. But, i honestly regret not having really taking the time to check through courses as well as universities. My choices, were all made in a day or two. I didn't even bother going to the uni websites to do my research. I never considered US properly. Idk. It feels like I just came to bristol only because it was the only choice for me. For that, I feel really disgusted with myself.

I feel so alone here sometimes, even with my friends around me. I just really want to come to class and go back home. Home, where my parents and brothers will sit in the dining table where we would have dinner together. If you were to ask me, I would say i miss malaysian food, but I've just came to realise that it's not the food i miss, it's the company.

I miss being in my comfortable bed. I miss being able to walk to my parents room just to watch masterchef. I miss annoying my little brother sometimes even though he's just sitting infront of the computer and ignoring me. I miss going for friday's 1for1 movie. I miss my family. I miss my friends.

I wish there was something i can do. But, i'll just try to make the best out of my one year here atm. I'm really gonna work hard, study hard, get into LSE next year. At least there, I'll have my best friends with me.

I just need to stay strong and carry on.

And for my parents, I will do exactly that.