what hurts the most.

I don't need anymore broken heart

I'm tired of waiting for life to start

i just need a place to land

I wanna find myself again

Ready set I'm pushing through the door

Running faster than I ever have before

So take this as my final stand

Come on catch me if you can

well, i found out something today. and it really hurt. :/ I mean, it was what i least expected, you could say. I really, somehow, thought you wouldn't be another one of those asses who'd break my heart. But, it's safe to say, i was SO wrong.

You can't blame me for being who i am now cause YOU were the whole reason i ever became like this. You're the reason why i'm so scared of committing to just one guy. I can't do that. You were supposed to prove to me that not all guys are JERKS. but, apparently, you ended up being the guy who proved me right instead.

It sucks to know that there are no decent guys in this world that are actually like those in the movies. How they'd do anything and everything to get you and show everyone that you're the one. They'd go out of their way to ask you out on a date and make sure that they'll never have to see a single tear fall from your face. It sucks that there isn't anymore guys who would actually fight for you when everyone is dissing you, stand up for you just to prove everyone else wrong. And it sucks the most to find that there isn't a decent guy out there who wouldnt ever hurt you.

I've lost faith in guys. really. Can't a guy please prove to me that not all guys are like these jerks i've met so far? :/

Idk. Maybe one day, i'll meet that someone. but, till then, my heart's gonna be locked up in a very safe place. Like my godbrother tells me

Just treat love as a game and you'll never loose. (:

sometimes, I just wish i was a kid again.

.

I'm yours.

Hold my hand, and we'll run away, together. (:

You're my guilty pleasure.

Today was crazyyy!

So, my day started off at 10, when i had to get ready for ballet. Left around 11. Went to my friend's place and she made lychee cooler! then, i went for a shower then took off.

Had a great time today just chilling, walking around, drinking juiceee. i had lychee paradise. (: It's nice getting to know more about a person. haha. We went to the Arcade after that seeing as there was half an hour left till our movie started. I FINALLY GOT TO PLAY THOSE SHOOTING GAMES! and, APPARENTLY, i'm pretty good (; HAHA. The gamee was REALLY funn, i have to admit! (: I'm so going back there again! HAHA.

Then, we headed off to go watch, WAIT FOR IT,

Paranormal Activities 2

I, had my mind dead set on it being so freaky and all. BUT, it turned out..to be rather..dissapointing. :/ the show was so sloww and, so unrealistic. Idk, maybe it's just me. I'm hoping paranormal activities was BETTER. I'm pretty sure im not having any nightmares tonight! AHHA. :P I guess, i can watch horror movies, after all (:

Went for dinner at sushi zanmai. and we talked (: I'm really comfortable around you. Haha, being all ridiculous and teaching you things you NEVER knew. I would say today was a very good day indeed (:

Left around 9. I was an hour and a half late for my cousin's bday DINNER. haha. but, it's alright! better late than never, no? :P after that, i had a movie with my family. I just got back an hour ago. :/

SO, HELL TO THE YEAH. today was a very productive day :D

It's so easy to be myself around you

First (:

FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE TODAY (:

There goes the days of being a Wesleyan, from today on, i'm officially a Taylorian!

The first day. Well, I went there only knowing a few of my wesleyans. But, it's safe to say that i got to know a lot of new friends today. I'm so glad :D haha. Well, we had a few talks about all the facilities and everything. then, went to our classrooms where we got our time tables (: Mine's not too bad. I HAVE EARLY DAYS ON FRIDAY. :D *Phewwww* ahha. A day to rest. Heeee.

OH YEAH. we had an explorace where we had to run around the campus taking photos. It was rather fun. haha. I had to rush my teammates up and down the escalator. AND THE BEST PART, IT WAS ALL WORTH IT, CAUSE WE WON. :D We got like notebooks and t-shirts. (: I'm pretty sure by now i know my way around the campus. Haha. I have 15 classmates. (: Very little, i know. But, goodd. probably be like a family. :D My teacher, ms natalie is just SO cute lah. so hyper. telling her own jokes and laughing at it herself. ;/ wait. that sounds a lot like me. HAHAH. wtv. :P

Tmrw class starts (: so, I'll update then. Till then. Buh-bye.

First day of college. First day of winning a race. First time washing my car. Today's alot of firsts. :P

Baby, please don't go.

Time of my life. (:

OMG. CONCERT TODAY WAS AWESOME. i performed

Waka waka - Shakira

Nobody - Wondergirls

Firework - Kate Perry

There you'll be - Pearl Harbour

We are the world - Michael Jackson

IT WAS OFFF THE HOOK :D very worth it. even though, i was running up and down changing between songs and despite all the mistakes here and there, today's really a day that i'll never forget. Hee. I love my dancers, pei jean, reyna, jo ann, mui mui and her sister (: Haha, you guys are really WONDERFUL. we learnt the dance in 48 hours. Yay us? :P

Well, after 6 hours of running up and down, i went to watch a movie with my family (: and that includes my grandpa, daddy, mummy, my bro, my cousins and my aunties and uncles. Haha. The show was really touching. I got somewhat touched. and ALMOST teared. Haha. yes, ALMOST. For the record, i've never cried..EVER watching a movie. :D so, if you guys ever find a movie that can make me cry. haha. it's a BIG accomplishment. (:

Well, im off to sleep now. My friends are coming over. (: TIME FOR SOME HEART-TO-HEART TALK! i cant wait! ((:

Anyways, peace out yo!

I want nobody nobody but you. (:

When you and I collide.

Well, well, well. Today's plan was just cancelled. I guess, i can get more sleep. :D YAY ME. i still haven't gotten my cropped jeans for college. BUT, BUT, i got my college bag yesterday. and I LOVE IT. haha. (: Guess i'm a LITTLE more ready for college now.

I have been watching Gossip Girl all day. So addictive. (: No complaints though. It's pretty good.

*****

It's been two weeks. Idk what i feel anymore. I mean, it's nice to have you around and all. But, you're not really here with me. Time just isn't on our side. I guess, that's fate and something we have to accept at the end of the day (: there's approximately 180 days till you come back. Maybe when you're back, we'll see how it goes. But, till then there's a whole world outside for us to explore. So, we'll go with the flow. Whatever comes will come, and if it doesn't, then it was never meant to be. I don't want to be the reason you stop enjoying yourself. Life is all about taking chances. At least that's what i believe. I mean, things could've been different, but, it's not. i just want us to be happy. (: Whatever it is, just dont walk out of my life. I still need you. (:

you're just 3963 miles too far away.

going crazy.

I'm so bloody tired. 16 hours of non-stop moving around. 4 hours of sleep. -.-

xoxo.

Smile (:

Hello world (:

I just made another cover yesterday.

Someone else's heart by Kina Grannis

I'm bored out of my mind, but i really dont wanna go out too. everytime i go out, i'd be spending at least 50 bucks. ): I'm broke already. what worst? I have to drive to PJ and back almost everyday to fetch my brother back from school :/ Haihz. life's hard. I cant wait to move in to my new place on MARCH 4TH :D haha. it's soon. Hope everything works out perfectly.

I was watching harry potter and the sorcerer's stone (: They were all so young and innocent and CUTE. ahha. I'm going to have a Harry potter marathon one day, cause i've totally forgotten everything about harry potter. :/ I'm always watching it just for fun. Haha. I've never read the book before. weird eh? i know. Hee.

You know, i really do think that youtube singers are better than the current famous ones on the radio. :/ They are SO MUCH MORE TALENTED. they should be getting the fame.

Anyways, I think im going over to my cousin's studio to record some songs once im free. Maybe even record some of my originals. Im planning on getting mics and cameras so i can finally record a decent video to post on youtube. :D I cant wait! haha.

on the other hand, college is starting in just 6 days. OHMYGOD. i haven't even gotten anything. :/ ALL I HAVE IS A LAPTOP COVER. i dont even have a LAPTOP for that matter. haha. I cant wait till i get to meet new people! :D WHEE.

Blogging's actually quite fun. (: It takes my boredom away, for that few minutes. I keep replaying my cover. Im weird, so weird. Haha.

I went back to WMS on monday. It felt so good seeing old friends and teachers. What i'll miss most about WMS..HMM..

1. sitting in the corner of class with Quin and Ching talking about everything. (:

2. Handball. My darlings, you know who you are. 7 11 12 :D

3. Basketball. Haha, even though we never won anything. we were still good. Mandy and shuen (: the ultimate trio! :D

4. 4P/5P that sings "happy birthday" non-stop all day. HAHA. we're cool that way, yo :P

5. Break and lunch with the girls! ACMJEQ :D almost TRYING to plan for outings but failing miserably in the end.

6. BM buddies. :D Fighting/ chatting/ joking around while ALAMIN talks in front. Haha!

7. HIGH JUMP! DHIVYA NAIR. WE OWNNED for 4 years STRAIGHT. ahha. :D

8. Blue house trainings. BEST EVER. (: Mr Naresh is one hell of a teacher!

9. CONCERTS. ): ohmygod. even though we always had the lamest themes but, still, WE ROCKED THE STAGE EVERY YEAR. hee!

10. All my friends and teachers that i've made throughout this 5 years in WMS. I love you, from the bottom of my heart. and im gonna miss you SO MUCH. how i wish i could stay another 10 more years.

There goes that chapter of my life. :/ aihz. we all gotta move one sometime, no? although i really wish i didn't have to. Time's just..flashing before my eyes and i can't stop it. it sucks, to know you're growing up.

Anyways, im going to watch gossip girl now. :D So, Buhbye!

PEACE OUT!

Hee. I was bored. :D

You keep me wanting more (:

Last kiss.

It's 2 now. my mum just came in half an hour ago to tell me off about my very bad sleeping habit. :/ I sleep at 5 each day. Eeek. I admit, it is bad. ): But, what to do right? maybe, i'll start sleeping earlier, after i start college on the 18th.

everyone's like soundly asleep now cause tmrw's the 3rd a.k.a first day of school for almost everyone, including HELP students. omg, i cant believe we're heading for college already. goosebumps. Time flies (: Haha, in just a blink of an eye, we'll all be leaving for states, uk or australia for uni. :/ damn.

I feel like writing a song. But, im too lazy to find a paper. (: I shall do that tmrw. Hee.

I cant wait for march 10 to get my SPM results. (:

broken.

Well, it's 4 in the morning on the 2nd january of 2011.

Happy new year (:

not so happy, actually. ): I just wish you were here right now. i'd drive over there, right this second if you were. We should be skyping, cause that's what we'd usually be doing around this time. If you were still here, I could call you just to ask you how you were. If you were still here, I wouldn't be feeling like this. I wouldn't be hurting so bad. I wouldn't be up so late, alone, wishing you were here with me right now.

I miss you a little, you could say, a little too much, a little too often, a little more everyday.

You drive me insane just wondering if you feel the same. But, the thing is, i just wanted to try us out. give me one month, just one. I need more time. really do. It sucks so much to know you're so far away right now and every second, you get further away. I wish you had stayed. just one year ago, we were sitting by the pool talking about crap (: i missed that. It sucked that i had to be so far away this new years. I just needed to hear your voice. I need to hear you voice, right now. I hope you do read this. for the record, i never got to tell you how i felt.

you remember, that night, we were skyping and you fell asleep infront of the com and i watched you sleep? you looked so peaceful. and all that was running through my mind was how i wish i could lay there right beside you, in your arms. you say the most ridiculous things when you're drunk.

I remember us standing infront of the air cond.

(: so do i. you would have probably forgotten everything we shared already. but, i haven't. you know, how you keep telling me that im treating you as a fling, it may have started out that way, but honestly, im pretty sure im falling hard for you, which is such a bad idea. you're so far away. I just want you close.

you're like the randomest guy ever and annoying, not to mention. I love that we have our own language (: I love that when im around you, you do silly little things that annoys me. I love that we're close friends. I love that you'd always say " kiss one time " and i'd shoot you down. I love that we'd go all crazy in the car listening to songs. I love that i didnt let go of your hand when we passed through tolls which almost led to multiple car accidents. i love that i know how you look in specs. I love that we have the same taste in music. I love that we have one picture that we both look so good in. I love that you and i dont have strings attached. I love that we're so comfortable with each other. I love that you're so full of yourself sometimes. I love that i got to share my last few days of 2010 with you. I love that you drove so slow fetching me back cause you didnt want me to leave. I love that when you look in my eyes, i just wanna lean in to kiss you. I love that you have your own way of saying " pissing me off ah? ". I love that when i was spending time with you, time didn't matter. I love that i smile so much around you. I love that I can tell you about my guy problems anytime i want. I love that you're not afraid to be who you really are with me. I love that you've always got your friends backs, no matter what. I love that i almost scared you to death when you walked out from the toilet. I love that 2010 felt complete because of you. I love that you call me honey sometimes. I love that you always playfully tell me you love me. I love your kisses, your hugs, the way we'd laugh at the randomest things, lying my head on your chest listening to your heart beat fast.

it's the little things that counts, no? (: That's what i had to say.Please just come back to malaysia soon, please. ): And, how i wish what you told me that night were true. But, im pretty sure you were saying them cause you were drunk and lonely. Life makes love look hard. I still owe you that dim sum breakfast. (: and btw, you say i got plenty of guys, but you're the one with a whole fan club of girls waiting for you where you're heading. I can dream of so many things we could do together, but reality still exist. if you read this and you can still tell me that you really meant what you said that night, then, we'll talk. (: Either way, I dont ever wanna loose you as one of my closest friend (: Haha, being around you is just too easy, im really myself around you. whatever happens, promise me, we'll still be there for each other whenever needed (: Lastly, I just wanna apologize if i freaked you out.

sometimes, i do wonder if you're the one too.