You know what still hurts?
knowing that I'm living a lie when I tell everyone that you don't matter to me anymore. Truth is, I tell myself that, in hope that maybe one day I'll get over what we used to have. I never told you this but, ever since that night we met each other, I've never stopped liking you. But, you'll never know that. I don't know why it is that I run to other guys then back to you, everytime. I don't know why it is that when the night ends, I just want you to be on the other side of the computer or phone waiting for me to be doing the same. I only need simple things in life to satisfy me. I just need the truth. My friends have told me numerous time to just let you go. But, they know, it's not that simple. Nope. It's hard. really hard. But, I can, i know it. In time i will move on, and our memories will be nothing but a blurry picture left in my head. but in the mean time, how i wish I could press a button on my head and erase off all the memories.
Worst part, all our plans.. I guess, it was all just dreams and plans, that are going to waste, again. Funny how we did so well in the beginning, and when you're finally here again, we're just fighting all the time. I don't even remember the last time we were happily talking to each other anymore. You know, the only reason why I asked you if you felt the same, cause you always make me feel used. and you dont even realize that. I don't want to know that i'm just like every other girl you talk to. No. Who does? I know I make you feel used sometimes too, even so, I always try my best to do things to tell you you're different. But you don't believe me, do you? You never did. you always think that just because I have so many guy friends that you're just like anyone of them. Ish, haven't I made it clear enough for you? Gosh, if this is what you want. after a whole 7 months of waiting for this moment to arrive with everything just going the total opposite as planned.
then, fine.
